Journal 3: The Performing ‘I’
I believe that I as well as everyone possesses a set of behaviors, actions, reactions, and mannerisms that they use to deal with different people on a daily basis. It’s like your reactivity to people is based on a spectrum of how well you know each other and how comfortable you are around each other. The more close you are the more true and revealing you will be, where on the other side of the spectrum where you don’t know someone so well, you may be more reserved, polite, and just begin to scratch the surface of a persons character. A perfect example of this is when I am at work with my new co-workers. Although we work side by side and are forced into close quarters together, I still keep a semi-professional and polite facade as I get to know them better. On the other hand, when I am with my friends I am the utmost comfort saying and acting as I please, not holding back from saying what I feel, what I see, or what ever is on my mind. For me these differences in how I act is mostly a level of comfort, and as I warm up to new people and get to know them I feel more comfortable with being myself. I am constantly “performing” in front of people, because I am always needing to change how I behave for certain people. If I were to act like I do with my friends around strangers or in a professional environment, people could be offended or I may looked at in the wrong way. I play many roles every day wether it be brother, son, friend, co-worker, student, or more and of all the different roles I play I don’t feel that they conflict with each other much at all and in fact they compliment each other, flowing and transitioning smoothly. I feel my character is not well defined by my physical appearance whatsoever, as I believe is true for everyone. No matter how someone looks it is really never a strong indicator of all the complex aspects of a person. The physical appearance my be a starting point but it really only scratches the surface. As far as socially constructed goes, I think who I am has definitely been formed by my environment and the society I’ve been apart of although this still would never be the only thing in the formation of who I am.